Friday, July 31, 2009

It's Never Enough

I'm the worst person to be told enough of something, because I never feel enough of anything, especially the good stuffs. I'm a big believer on "there's never enough of a good thing". So yeah, like you guys didn't notice, I do overindulge myself during my stay here, and stuff myself up with shopping and foods.

I don't know why, but I think I just can't help it. I do get happy from that - and it becomes creepy. I think I get addicted to what makes me happy. For some reason I can't stop eating; I found great happiness in it and I refuse to let go (big problem if you want to reach your weight goal), also I really can't help in buying things that's, let's just say not really necessary and there's the internet 'addiction'. The last one, I just can't help it period. I will go online from as soon as I wake up until right before I decided to go to bed. It's ridiculous! thanks to Youtube, Facebook and all those gossip blogs.

I'm not a wise man on this one, but I do want to have control of myself, discipline. The 'D' word is really, really tough for me, because I used to get that a lot when I was a kid and I don't like being under control, so I used to let go of myself once in a while. But now it's kinda too much and I have to pay the price. This is just another reminder for me everytime I go online.

One thing that never enough for me is holiday. I just never feel it's enough. I still remember vividly, my first arrival in Jakarta May 23rd morning. It was awesome and now, my I'm only 19 days apart from going back to Boston. I'm so sad, yet I wanna go back to Boston to, for the sake of reliving my memories for the past 1,5 years there. I know I'm weird. I never feel enough of anything.

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