Roadblocks

It's been 2 weeks since the show and I've been slacking all weeks. Yes, as much as I want to deny it, I have to admit that I don't feel like doing anything and it's been going downhill ever since - and, No! this post is not about being pessimistic or anything, but it's more like self-reflection, kind of my own wake up call, courtesy me.

So yeah, there's couple major things that I should really work hard on: school transfers (graduating in May), and one project for art class (which I'd love to drop, because (1) it's not mandatory initially, (2) it's just an addition to my credits, in order to graduate). So basically I've been slacking big time.

Plus, I got allergy that really bothering me (swollen eye, teary-red and itchy eye) and make me feels tired all day all night (I feel tired all the time prior to this already). So allergy just made it even worse. But there's this one worst allergy for me ever! Fears of reality. Yes, I gotta admit sometimes it's hard for me to get reality check, since I'm always avoiding it. But I don't know, I feel like I always postpone things, just for my own "sake" - I kept convince my self to do it tomorrow or later, which always ended up never get done.

It is scary situation for me - being a failure, but I always let it happen. I'm scared but gotta face this. God please help!

Dark Romance, Sweet Victory

So it's been a while since I post my entry about my life.. and for the first time ever, I think I can take a breather. Yes, last Saturday was the Fashion Show and it went pretty well, I guess. I'm so happy with the outcome and I'm happy that I made it to the show. I finally can reveal what the collection looks like and can't wait to share with all my friends and family.

I've been working on this collection since June 2009, I've been sketching throughout my summer holiday last year - and basically in my head there's this image of classic, sensual lacy dress (black) - the inspiration came from Italian style (think Dolce & Gabbana + vintage YSL). So basically I came up with three sketches of a top and a skirt, a set of top & harem pants and a wedding gown (I put em on my facebook, if you interested). So anyway, It grew from a collection of 3 into a collection of 7 pieces (which 3 of 'em involving knit materials and 1 jacket). The collection was pretty dark overall, very somber. I was in the mood for fall - this is my idea of fall: dark, cold and sensual (somehow). I also ended up directing the rest of the collection towards edgier side, which I like (I drew a lot of inspiration from McQueen, Alexander Wang & of course, Ghesquiere).

Now, the working hours. It was insane, I spent so much time outside classes (I believe it could be 30 hrs a week, includes weekends too) and the most memorable, to me, was from Thursday night until Saturday morning, April 10, the day of the show. So I went to the lab at 5.30 PM and stayed there and working non stop until the next Saturday morning at 4.30 AM. It was exhausting and I never had so many espresso in my life ever (thanks to Bianca & Juliet, :D), and I only managed to took a nap for only an hour! it was so sad but I listened to Nadya and it kinda helped me a bit. (Not to mention ciggy break, which super unhealthy but helped to take the edge off). It was exhausting but hanging around with friends made the tiredness went away.

The most stressful part was of course the fashion show it self. 5 hours before the show (the show is 1 PM), I was still putting the spikes onto the leotard (It fits my model perfectly, so hard work paid off) and I was a nervous wreck, so tired - super dizzy. Fast forward to the shows: Scene after scene was on and all of them looked awesome - but once they presented scene 6, I started to became nervous, and at backstage, nervous is an understatement. I was so nervous, as I dressed this one girl, I have to sew in some 'flaws' on the dress, so basically I sewn in the dress while the model was wearing it. Everything was blurry at that point and I also rushed into the backstage at the side, and waiting behind the curtain until I walked with my bride (Karrisa who did a great job) and took a final bow. Adrenaline rush! take a look! (btw, I took photos from other people uploads onto Facebook, since I couldn't get a chance to take any wonk wonk)










Overall, I'm so happy with the show, although it's not as exciting as last year to be honest, but for me it's the best so far - these are the garments I most proud of. The whole thing working on the garments for 48 hrs non stop, not sleeping was exhausting and almost making me having a nervous breakdown, but It was so much fun and I'd do it again. Knowing this show is my final show for Fisher, I'm getting a little bit nostalgic and absolutely gonna miss my friends, it's crazy cause it's like I signed up for another 7 sisters! lol. I'm also happy with my models, they're the best (I personally think so) and they're so reliable and accommodating as well, so I'm happy! Glad I made it through, and now I'm ready to share it with the world.

Spring Awakening

Spring officially has come! The weather is nice, no more snows! and that's, for me, a bliss!

So basically I haven't really update anything here (beside the new banner), all because I've been so busy working on the collection that would be presented next month! April 10th! I'm a nervous wreck! - I still have like 4 garments to be finished, let alone some garments that need alterations. Excited but nervous. I'll keep it posted regularly. But I'm really happy that I have such a wonderful class mates that I couldn't wish for more, and great models too! I love it.

Though I'm done with the last class, I'm still need to work on some garments for the rest of the week. I literally have to cancel any personal leisure (except internet and sleep), cuz the garments are taking my time like bitches.

Oh, as for spring break, I'm heading to Orlando for couple days. Universal Studios baby! teehee. It's been my dream to go there and I'm super excited! Can't wait to share with u guys. Happy Spring Break!

Got Good Hair To Begin With

I got my haircut on Friday night and I felt really good ever since. I felt some of my problems are taken off of my head a bit. Also, I kinda have been busy working on some garments. Still wedding dress, still a knit wear.

It's scary sometimes how one-note I am, because I'm kinda stuck with the systematic work of making a pattern, and then construct a garment, etc. I can't really elaborate if I get into troubles and so on. I am still hoping have some tricks left to get out of this. I already think about the accessories for upcoming shoe: custom detail shoes and lace gloves. I'm freaking out

February Already

It's been a while & I'm kinda slowing down on the internet updates. I haven't really update on anything - facebook, blog, wtv - but just madly checking on gossip blogs, musics and so on. I also got new iPhone (I'm an Apple freak) and new provider too, 'coz I'm done with T-Mobile - over it.

O yeah, it's snowing outside and it comes with a stormy winds. We already knew this so, naturally, there's class cancelations happening - which is kinda gave me mixed feeling. First I need the class time, just to talk about the materials and progress with my prof regarding the collections, designs and stuffs, second, I love the fact that I got more sleeping time. Yesterday I was super worn out and hungry; I got home at 11 PM.. then went to ate like whatever in front of me, and then went bed at 12.10 AM. I'm a night owl, so sleeping before 2 AM is considered very early to me.

I couldn't help my frequent bitching moment, but, I'm like get over this winter and ready for some sunlight. I mean, the cold is too much.. It affects my nose, my skin, there's nothing good came out from winter except hot winter fashion. And speaking of fashion, another Fisher fashion show is coming up this April! and I'm presenting a collection!! it's so excited because I believe it's the first time ever our school presenting collections by its designer - not segmented. I wish us designers would be able to at least have our creative control on the look of the collections, the songs, models and the make up and so far, only the presentation part (As a collection) that was approved. But I keep my fingers crossed.

I'm in the middle finishing my wedding gown and I'm nervous - so I blog about it while listening to Alexander Wang S/S 2010 runway soundtrack ('Pon de Floor' by Major Lazer. It's my jam now). I love listening to music and since Spring is just around the corner, I listened to more dance records with cool beats! (Gaga, Madonna etc.) I think it's just happen to me, I have my seasonal favorites.. Sometimes I listen to all jazz all month, and then 2 months later, I'm hooked with more urban songs and so on. How bout you guys?

Anyway, I'm excited for this year! and I don't know what will happen next, but I hope it better be good!

Frozen Treats

Ah! another bitter cold day, I absolutely hate it. it's around 15F (around -8/-9C) today and I decided to go out to Newbury, took my laptop to the Apple store, for service. The day before however was even colder, but I needed to go out for a while. Later tonight we went to see The Book of Eli (not a 'wow' movie) & Tooth Fairy (a totally family movie), and the night was pretty great. I absolutely have nothing special today, except! I got a reply tweet from Anggun! yes Anggun the singer!



I'm kinda happy for the turn-out. I'm happy that she replied me, but moreover, she is as humble as she is in interviews on TV, magazine etc. She's my only favorite Indonesian singer and I kind of appreciate the Indonesian-ess of her: long dark hair, exotic tanned skin and the politeness of an Indonesian woman.

So anyway, I'm packed with snacks, drinks and comfy bed - it's time for spending some me time.

Restart

I really have to take this time to talk about my last semester. Yes, last fall wasn't my most brilliant time ever, I got failures from classes and have personal problems. I believe those things happened because of I got stress and I don't discipline myself. I admit that I'm not particularly great on that department and I feel the result now: stress, weigh gain, failures and so on.

I have to be honest, I'm mad at myself and the world for some reason, which now I think it's ridiculous. I need to be motivated and mostly, disciplined. I need to restart my life.

And then, I saw this article at Yahoo! about tips to lowering your stress level and stuff.. (20 Tips) and it includes like making list, exercise, making your bed, wake up earlier or sleep earlier and so on. I thought that's mostly things that I NEED to do and because of lack of discipline, I haven't done those things in a while. But I agree in that article; saying those little things like that can make you a little happier in life.

I really can't wait to change my lifestyle, but I don't do it as a resolution of a certain year, because I need this to happen throughout the rest of my life. I can wait to restart my life.

Holiday Report

It's good to be back to Bean town! 10 days stay in Atlanta were flew too fast. I'm so happy that I could spent holidays with my family in Atlanta, and meeting aunt Linda & my favorite cousin, Russ (he's big now!). The one thing I hate about it was the cold weather.. I expect it'd be a little warmer than Boston, and boy am I wrong. Darren (Linda's hubby) took us to a great BBQ place which I love so much! I'm addicted to BBQ period. Oh! I also paid a visit to Coke world. I didn't know Atlanta is the home of the world famous beverage, until last year (i mean, '08).



Anyway, nothing much happens since I got back to Boston. I've been lazying up my ass and eat. Ha, I know I sounds miserable, but I just let myself go, too much I think. I just want to relax myself before the hectic life resumes in 2 weeks.

Today I made grilled chicken bumbu sate for late lunch. It was pretty good actually.. Marinated chicken with peanut sauce and I put fried onion, crushed and add kecap manis (sweet soy sauce). Also, i made fried Oreo! the ultimate worst junk food ever. Basically I dipped a frozen Oreo cookie into pancake batter and then fried. I only managed to eat 2 and then I started to feel nauseous.




So there it is.. for those who still in holidays, enjoy! and rest of you who already go back to activity, have a great day!

Best Of 2009

2009 isn't not really the best year ever but wasn't bad either. Actually it's pretty decent. So many great experiences happened this year (Summer holiday, new apartment & fashion show) and some down points (this semester in general among others). But it's okay, I learn and eventually moves on. But anyway, ending the year in positive note, I wanna show you something awesome and big!

I'm talking about the songs that's big this year. I always love to make list of anything since I was a kid, and the list about favorite music each year is no exception. Here's my best songs of 09, according to me.. in random orders!

"Bad Romance" & "Telephone" - Lady Gaga
"Use Somebody" - Kings Of Leon
"Bulletproof" - La Roux
"My Life Would Suck Without You" - Kelly Clarkson
"Don't Stop Believin'" - Glee Cast
"TiK ToK" - Ke$ha
"Halo" - Beyonce
"Boom Boom Pow" & "I Gotta Feeling" - BEP
"Empire State Of Mind" - Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys
"Party In The U.S.A." - Miley Cyrus
"You Belong With Me" - Taylor Swift
"Obsessed" - Mariah Carey
"Heartbreak Warfare" - John Mayer
"Track Of My Tears" - Adam Lambert

I'd like to give movies a try this year. I don't really watch a lot of new stuff and that's why I don't have a lot of good amount of movies to put in the list. I look for a great visual and story line in a movie.. and my choice of top movies are







I just saw 'Avatar' and '500 Days' like 4 days ago and I fell in love with them right away. 'Avatar' has the best visual effect so far (and surprisingly good story-line) and also '500 Days' was unique and heartwarming, or quirky if you will.

So.. That's it! The Best of 2009! Can't wait to find out what's in store in 2010!

Confessions In The Darkest Hour

I'm sleepless, I'm bothered and I'm fucked. That's right, I've to say that this end of the year, despite the great life and so on, I don't feel happy. I feel like I, once again, re-entered the dark time again and speaking of dark, it's really dark right here literally.

I actually it began with the distance between my house and school (40 min by train, one trip) and then It spread out into 'too many courses taken' situation. Which is kind of true: I took 5 courses - textile science, french draping, history of costume, college algebra & microeconomics - which every single course need an extra care. That means that I have to work extra hard this semester - and it kinda failed.

I managed to survived Math test on Friday morning (at 9 AM), although I skipped to many classes. That happened to History, which I kinda confident with, but I was absent 10 times - which can resulting in fail. So does Micro and Textile. As for French draping, I'm not really sure anymore. I have this wedding dress I need to finish by Monday and I haven't even cut the lace. Such a tragedy and ironic.

Speaking of ironic, my weight. I know I promised myself to not talk about it anymore on the last post, but I have to come clean that, I gained half of the weight I lost in 2006-2007 period. It's such a shame and disappointment because I worked so hard on that and I blew it. I hate to say this but, I started gaining weight the first day I went to Jakarta for holiday, and it went downhill ever since. It's uber-ironic because, that 3-month holiday was literally the best thing happened this year and yet, it also started my new era of darkness - and here I am writing about it.

I do think that I'm in denial somehow and I'm afraid of discipline. I felt like some of me wants an endless freedom and a lifestyle of an ultimate devil-may-care slacker, but I'm seriously feels like, it's enough. I can't let myself down the drain now.. It's time to get up. Hopefully with this entry, I'm ending my dark ages and entering a whole new chapter.

Manhattan Weekends

Last Thanksgiving weekends were pretty great, we went to NYC to bought fabrics for my third design (I got 30 yards of fabrics, insanity). I actually went with a friend & my bro on this trip and it was pretty nice. Well, we good this good, small hotel on 23rd St and it has the nicest bed i've ever sleep on in years. Anyway, I met up with my friend, Rani in the hotel. I wished I could have more time but there's always next time! it was good to see her after quite a while.

Well, basically it's typical NY to do list: checked out the Fifth Ave, SoHo and stuffs. Oh! I got a nice winter coat from Topman, I've been thinking about getting a trench coat and I got what I like there. I also checked out SoHo's Dean & Deluca market; I literally wanna get everything from that stores! the cakes, the sea foods, every single thing there looks like a luxury items. (Thank God, I brought a luggage with me).

The first night on the town, my friend Jade brought us to this small yakitori shop. It's superb. I was hungry all day and the foods are so tasty, I wanna stuff my face with those foods. I ordered pork chasu with avocado, and some yakitori set and those are heaven on small, wooden japanese bowls. We actually wanted to get some desserts on Serendipity 3 later that night, but it was 2 hr waiting list and we decided to checked out Dylan's Candy Bar. The verdicts: Dylan's service was bad (we waited 20 mins for 2 frozen hot chocolate) and the desserts are FAILs.










And on Sunday, me and bro went to Bali Nusa Indah (Indo restaurant) for lunch and checked out SoHo. Here's the thing, somehow my great genius mind decided not to book the return ticket to Boston and the result is predictable: all the bus tickets to Boston were sold, even the train tickets. I literally could faint any time, but luckily we gambled to get on to the bus on Chinatown. We got on at 6.30 pm and we arrived in Boston at midnight. It was exhausting but relieving at the same time. I'm looking forward to go back to NYC soon!

Be Thankful!

O God, I love my sleep. Last night I went bed at around 9.30 PM.. and wokeup like 11 AM today.. but decided to continue the sleep until 2PM. I know, I sleep like a dead person, but I love every minute of it. I feel fresh & happy.

Anyway, today is Thanksgiving, so.. Happy Thanksgiving people! I think I've sort of plan for tonight, going out with couple of friends for dinner. Can't tell much about it, since I don't know anything about it except who's the host, who's come with me and what not.

Have a great day!

UPDATE:

Well, basically i went to a dinner like, bunch of Indonesians we had this traditional dinner. Loves it. My first Thanksgiving dinner ever. But I went to Jade's house and her cousin brought her leftovers. They're the best!

Recharged

I love this week, such a relaxing - laid back week. Canceled classes, no intense quizes and shits. Anyway, TGIF! can't wait to get some therapy. Shop therapy that is. Actually last night I went out to get 2 sweaters from Marc Jacobs. Besides the label, the fabric actually feels comfy. But my favorite for now is the blazer I got! for only $30 from $88.90! score.

This past week, shows are kind of getting excited. Finales on both 'Top Model' & 'Project Runway'. Not their best season yet, but kinda pleased with the winners pick. But, my faves right now are Glee & 30 Rock. They never fails! Go to 'Rock' for some good laughs, and 'Glee' for some geek-y fantasy (read: musical numbers).

Despite the fun escapades, I do still have the projects that sometimes irritating. Both design and portfolio are super stressful. At least after all the fun, I feel refreshed and excited again. Besides, fashion supposed to be fun to begin with

Witching Hour

This past Halloween day was my first ever Halloween experience, and I concluded that I don't go well with Halloween. Last year wasn't really fun at all, and this year, the trip to Salem felt like a struggle, literally; the trains like an hour long, and it rained when we're in line to catch a train back to Boston (it's cold and we're hungry).

Bad things aside, there's also fun thing happen: seeing people in their getups. When on a train to Salem, there's this guy i saw who wrapped himself with plastic wraps - which later he told us he's a 'manwich', and then there's so many other whacky costumes in Salem: there's acne (a guy wears red and has a plastic bag with mashed potato in it, and that's for the zit. ew), the queen and king cards, there's Stewie from Family Guy, multiple Dorothys and Alices (which one of them is my bff, Steph), Amy Winehouses and more. By the way, I dressed up as a gangster mafia, while my bro was a.. ringmaster/vintage/etc and there's chinese girl as a geisha and a friend he dressed up as a psycho I guess, BUT since he wore Ed Hardy tee, I kept calling him Jon Gosselin went nuts.

In Salem, there's couple of Christians fanatics that held a demo in the city, and I assumed they don't really enjoy Halloween like the rest of us. Kookoo.

Later that night, I ended up at Steph's apartment with Jaeho and a friend, and we cooked (well technically, only Jaeho) so many foods, Kimchi jigae (?), omelet with crab sticks and reheated foods from days back. So, It was a fun Halloween. But there's.. a little problem going on later (waaay later) that night; just another episode that got heated, but we ended it up. So I guess, that's why I'm not really a big Halloween person. Well, I will certainly try next year, I would dress up even more elaborate than last Saturday.

Anti-Social

For the last couple of days (or weeks) I haven't really interact to people that much, except some class mates (fashion classes) and indo friends online. Yes, I'm on the edge into the anti-social world. Well, maybe I exaggerated that, but here's the thing: fashion classes really take your time, like a lot. It almost left me no time for social life.

Let me break it down; last week alone I spent average 10 hours at school, which for me a new thing, (well I never done that in high school or wtv) and sometimes stayed at the fashion lab until midnight. It's crazy, I'm losing sleep and uber-exhausted.

Last Friday, I was like a mad person, walking around Newbury street to do some window shopping after class. It's so sad but pretty relieving, cause after a week of torture, I can tasted a bit of freedom.

This week is no different, with two tests for Wednesday, portfolios due on next couple of weeks (need a lot of attention this one) and.. some sketch works, and design projects due Nov 13, I don't think I can be social for a very long time. I need vacation.

Freaky Friday

Last Friday was the freakiest morning I've ever had in years. I had this weird dreams that I was in this a 20-stories flying apartment (I assumed it was a plane), and I was on the 20th floor and it was flown during the winter storm which was dangerous (even in a dream).

In the same dream, I watched this 2 guys eating a funny looking things which turned out were seahorses! (this one, I think, because of I watched McQueen's Spring 2010), one was this bubbly-animated purple seahorse on a skewer (grilled) and the other one was gory-mythical looking seahorse (also on a skewer).

I don't know what happened to me and my dreams, but I think it's because I had so many things in my mind and mostly, I was sick. Which brought me to the next topic I'd like to share. I got to the nurse office, and the nurse gave these various meds: for cough and cold. What's interesting was she put em all in this plastic bad, and have label on it saying: "BIO HAZARD". It's humorous and dark at the same time. Just the way I like it.


It's been a rough week for my body and as a result, I was sick for 3 days (5 including the weekends). I, infact, still a bit sick, but I'll deal with it. So tired right now. I'll leave you guys with the must-download tracks of the moment!

DOWNLOAD: "Bad Romance" - Lady Gaga, "Morning After Dark" - Timbaland, "Who Says" - John Mayer, "Did It Again" - Shakira, "Doesn't Mean Anything" - Alicia Keys

Thanks, Weather!

Yep. This climate change just f***ed me up, right in the throat (and nose). It's been 3 days now that I feel ill, and I just need to get rest. But alas, I can't. Too many assignments and important things to do for me to just leave em for a while: design 1 garment due next Friday (got the laces!), Tests on Mondays (History & Math) and basically the next whole week will be bombarded by midterm tests and my condition 'really helps' me a lot.

Speaking of weather, the coldness comes early. Last year I remember it wasn't cold until early november. This make me sick! (literally, and I heard tomorrow's gonna snow! ouch). I really need vacation but I just can't think one. Btw, lack of internet drives me crazy lately. The internet in Malden is free no more (And I can only access it in the lounge area, which of course no privacy at all). So as I said before (in my last 3 posts), this week pretty suck.

There's still bright sides though, I was granted second chance in History classes which, for me, is huge. I can regain trusts to the people and show that I can fix this. Also, fall means new fashion! and I'm eyeing some stuff at Marc! I wish I have time off. Oh! the Spring 2010 Collections also held last month and I will post my top favorites!

So Long My Watch

I just lost my watch like 2 days ago, and i sucked hard. This is my second loss after my first lost (Sidekick in September last year). I have this kinda Phantom Limb effect on me, I feel like I still have it on my wrist but it's not there anymore. This week was pretty sucked.

Another update about suckness is my History of Costume class. Gosh, I missed my second test, I've prepared so much last night - I studied the names and photos - just to found out I was so late came into class room. I hate the fact that I didn't really thought about the times this morning and also, I missed the T.

I just wish I can get over this situation real fast.

Sucktober

I know it's too early to call that out - I even wanted to call it worse but the drama is so would be unnecessary - and here's why: I experienced too much trouble already for the last couple of days. Too many fights and arguments ensued and left me all frustrated and weird. Ha. I don't know what happen to me lately.. but surely, this week is hell and yet, the first week is still going on.

I feel terrible for the fights and all of em were unnecessary. I didn't know what I was thinking and the worse part is the guilt and it happened.

So moving on. I was asked to help do this project and I must say I'm not really 100% sure about it. I was asked to do sketches but I just wanna do that. I don't need to come back and forth to make it perfect and give comments and so on. This person's taste is different than mine and it seems our aesthetics are very different and for me, if I don't like it, I wouldn't feel like doing any of it. But I gotta do it - because my moral compass says so.

.. And yeah, pretty much that was happening in one day. So pretty blurred earlier today (buta karena emosi). Anyway, life goes on and time to moving on. Boy, do i need to hear that again.

Nights To Remember

Last Saturday was pretty major for me; i and friends went to Four Seasons to attend a dinner and a speech from - get this - no. 1 man in Indonesia, a.k.a. Mr. President SBY. He's here because of the G20 Summit and also his son enrolled in Harvard, I think. Before we get into the highlight of the day, let's talk about the "dinner". I put the quotes because it's not exactly what I had in mind; the food as not good, almost flavorless. Oh, the guests were hot too. So many branded bags and killer shoes totting around the room, It was like soiree of a socialite.

Anyway, the speech was nice that he talked about Indo's economy, and also he addressed about Malay-Indo situation, which he handled gracefully. I never been so proud of my country until last weekend. So, It was a great night overall. But sadly I couldn't have a picture with him, he entered the room last and exited first, before everyone exits (and he's obviously guarded, so). It's a fun night. However, I forgot to mention that, not all the people put in the same room, there's an additional room next door installed with TV streaming live of him speaking from the other room. So I didn't really see him in person, except when he walked out the door. Pathetic? yes.

Talking about a night to remember, I had this talk with an old friend which for me a relief because it's been a burden for a while. We did talked it through and it wasn't easy. I said I need this to be refreshed completly - means we have to talked about every pain and let it go and then move forward. It worked on me and glad I did it.

Another night to remember was actually last night. I spoke to mom for a while, and it's been so long since I talked to her that candid. I talked everything about what happen to me recently and she did opened my mind once again. I kinda lost faith along the way, but now I kind of get my faith back. So I think last night conversation was pretty powerful and I see myself and life in a different way. So many things happen lately and I think I was overwhelmed, more or less, and needed a guidance. So thankful for her.

I believe there'll be so many things happen to me bad or good, I'll just never know when. Just need to be prepared.